I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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