Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
