i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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