pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Randomize
