He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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