i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize