where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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