Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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