I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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