I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize