Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
