Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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