Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
