no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize