I am in a vortex of obligation.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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