We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
