margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
