this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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