Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Text me some of your sweat
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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