so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
