Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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