What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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