for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
