Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
