i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
