Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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