After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
