She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
