i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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