Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
