She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
