it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
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