Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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