handjob tips. give me some.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Randomize
