He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
we made out on top of his cat.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize
