The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
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