So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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