They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
