My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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