found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
