I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
