In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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