He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
