I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
