Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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