If that was your dad, he is hot
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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