East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize