You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
