i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I wear drunk well.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
