So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
