Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
