with your own penis?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
