Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
