I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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