i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
