Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
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