Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
