She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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