If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We need to rekindle our bromance
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
i believe in u and ur pee
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
