omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
