we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
