: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
