You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
