You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
