No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
i now understand why vodka
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
