Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
