what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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