Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Randomize
