i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
we should paint friendship bongs
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
