just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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